Not One Damsel in Distress
by Musa Silver-Hawk
Summary: A bunch of stories of Kagome one-upping different Inuyasha men. Rated T just to be safe. The genre may say "romance" but don't expect too much.


**Princess Pirate**

Musa Silver Hawk

Chapter 1

Pirate Princess

There once were two kingdoms on opposite sides of the world. One in the North and one in the South. In these kingdoms, there lived two kings with lovely wives. Now, both sets of monarchs were trying to produce an heir that would carry on the royal lineage, but to no avail. So, both kings decided to travel far and wide in search of a shaman who could help them. Well, as fate had it, on their ninth day of travel, the two kings met upon the same day at the same place at the same time. The shaman they saw asked them what they wanted.

"An heir to the throne." Both men answered. The shaman smiled and nodded his head.

"I will bless you both with an heir." He said. "However, you must promise me one thing." The two kings nodded. "Your children must marry. If they do, much prosperity and happiness will bless your lands. If they do not, your kingdoms will fall to ruin." The monarchs nodded and shook hands. They did not notice the smirk on the shaman's face.

The two kings promised that they would keep each updated as soon as their child was born before going their separate ways. The following year, the North Queen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and the South Queen gave birth to a handsome baby boy. Both kingdoms were delighted and there was much feasting and celebrating in both lands. The kings informed one another of the news and a date for the wedding was set. However, a lot can happen in the space of sixteen years.

As the Princess of the North grew, the king and queen decided to send her off to the royal academy. As fate would have it, the king and queen in the South were planning to send their son to that same school.

As the two studied together, they came to love each other. They felt as though the world itself could not pull them apart. As the years drifted away, the time soon came for them to go back home. They were very distraught about this but they vowed that they would meet again one day and be married. However, things do not always go as planned.

The young prince returned home in lesser spirits than when he had left. The king asked him what was wrong.

"Father," said the prince. "I have fallen in love with the Princess of the North and now I fear that we shan't meet again." His father smiled jovially and told his son of the promise that he and the King of the North had made. The prince was ecstatic. He would be with his love yet!

The princess too was in low spirits. However, when asked, she did not tell her father what was wrong. Instead, she just sighed. Now, the King of the North had in no way forgotten his promise to the King of the South and he was waiting for the day when his friend would bring his son up to meet his new bride.

The next morning, the king received word that the King of the South would be arriving with his son within a months notice. When he told his daughter the news, she shied back. She did not know that the man that her father had chosen for her was her love, the Prince of the South. That evening, she stole out of the castle and visited her best friend, the Lady of the Northern Forest.

"Sango!" she cried as her friend led her to her room. "What am I to do? My father has chosen a suitor for me and I have no idea who he is." Lady Sango sat with her friend on her bed and hugged her about the shoulders.

"Kagome," she whispered gently. "I'm sure that you will find a way to convince your father to marry Lord Kouga." Princess Kagome continued to sob.

"My father is to hardheaded," she sniffed. "He won't see the tips of his fingers if he doesn't want to: he will say that they do not exist!" Lady Sango embraced her friend.

"Come, let us go to the beach, we will pick fruit from the trees and eat on the sand." Kagome sniffed and agreed and the two women changed into simpler gowns and headed down by horse, to the shore.

The sun began to light the sky and Princess Kagome and Lady Sango were up in the trees plucking fruit from the branches. A young boy had wandered by and offered to catch the falling fruit in a basket. The girls laughed heartily, their skirts were pulled up around their hips and their legs were wrapped around the trees that they were in to keep them from falling. The young boy laughed with them and caught the fruit as they fell and put them into his basket. He would like ever so much to share this bounty with the lovely women plucking them from their branches.

Out at sea, the two sons of a merchant were sailing with their crew, ready to trade their goods. While the eldest son was at the helm, manning the wheal, the youngest son was keeping a lookout for pirates. As he searched the sea, he noticed the beach where our lovely ladies were picking fruit. The youngest son called out to his brother and the brother passed the wheal to the first mate. The younger brother pressed the looking glass to his brother's eye and focused it on the beach. The elder brother was just as enchanted by these maidens as the younger brother was, so they pulled up to shore.

Kagome saw the ship pull up: Sango did as well. The child however, did not. When he saw Kagome waving, he was curious to see what she was waving to. He climbed to the tree that she was in so that he could get a better look. He saw the ship and the two men coming off of it.

When the two brothers reached the trees where Kagome, Sango, and the young boy were perched, the eldest one spoke.

"Maidens," he said. "My brother and I have sighted you from afar on our ship. We ask if you would come down and consent to be our brides." They came down and Kagome stepped forth.

"Good sirs," she said. "We would gladly consent to be your brides." Sango stepped forward as well.

"But," said she. "You must promise not to touch us until we are married." The men nodded. It would not do to sully a woman before the vows were made.

"And," Kagome added. "You must let us take this young boy with us as well. It would not do at all if he should stay here and worry." The young child clung to Kagome's skirts and peered out from behind. The men nodded again. The child was obviously attached to the young maidens. Once everything was agreed upon, the two brothers escorted their new brides-to-be onto their ship where their crew was waiting. As they sailed there was much merry making and celebrating at the betrothal of both brothers. All the crew praised the beauty of the young women, saying that they would produce beautiful children seeing as the brothers themselves were very handsome.

They sailed for days and nights until, at the end of the fortnight, they arrived at the land of the two merchant brothers. As Sango sang the child, Shippou, a lullaby, Kagome convinced the brothers to go home and tell their parents about their betrothal. She reassured them that the rest of the crew was to be with them thus, she explained, they would be perfectly safe. The brothers agreed that this was no reason for fear: their crew was an honest group of men of good moral character. The maidens would be perfectly safe.

Once the brothers were far from the ship and Shippou was safely asleep, Kagome and Sango convinced the crew to share a glass of wine in celebration. Needless to say, the men consumed more than one glass of wine: one-by-one they went stumbling off the ship onto the dock in search for their own pleasure. Taking advantage of this, the two women raised the anchor and sailed away from the port.

The Lord of the West paced his halls in worry. His retainer had told him about a ship that was charged by a woman. She had with her another female companion and a young male child as her charge. Her description, which was vague indeed, said that he had long black hair pulled back into a braid that fell to her waist. She and her companion wore breeches and loose fitting blouses. No more had been said about her. It was infuriating. A woman taking charge of a ship: how could such a thing happen? From what he had heard, she had last been seen in the east. He needed to find this woman and put his mind at ease. A woman doing a man's job was simply unacceptable.

They had been sailing for weeks when Sango yelled to her Captain. Land had been sighted. The anchor was lowered and the three travelers went a shore to gather supplies. While Kagome, haggled with some pirates on the price of guns and swords, Shippou went with Sango to get bread, cheese and the like to keep them fed until they reached the next port. When they met up back at the ship, Kagome showed the weapons that she had acquired: a revolver for her and Sango, plus four katana and a dagger for Shippou. Kagome and Sango began practicing with their swords that evening deciding that they would leave port in the morning.

Later that evening as Kagome was singing Shippou to sleep the three of them heard a scream. Kagome leapt up and buckled her sword to her side.

"Sango, you take care of Shippou, I'll see what's going on!" Shippou stood up as well.

"No! I'm going with you Mama!" Kagome shook her head and left. Shippou sat back down.

"What if she get's hurt?" he asked Sango.

"She won't, I promise."

Kagome ran in the direction the scream came in and saw a young girl being dragged away by a bunch of thugs. Kagome's blood boiled.

"Ye thought ye could run away huh?" one of the thugs sneered. "Ye haven't paid off yer debt yet." The girl struggled to get away. The thug holding her tsked.

"I was gonna lay of ye until ye became a woman, but it seems as though ye won't get that lug-" he never finished what he was going to say. His eyes grew wide and his head fell forward. Kagome had run her katana through him. She sharply withdrew her weapon and the other thugs turned on her.

"Who do ye think ye are boy?" one of them asked obviously mistaking Kagome for a man. "This ain't somethin' a young'un like you'ld understand." He lunged at her and she dodged him.

"My name is Kagome, I am not a man but a woman. I am a pirate with more honor than the whole lot of you. Unhand that girl if you wish to live." The thugs laughed at her but they didn't unhand the female child.

"Listen missy," the thug said. "Ye might've gotten a lucky stab at our boss, but 'is back was turned: ye won't be so lucky against us." Kagome didn't need any more encouragement. She lounged swiftly and gracefully, killing the thugs before they could say 'hi'. Kagome was spattered in blood and the child was terrified and when Kagome reached the girl, the child screamed yet again. Kagome smiled.

"Child, I will not hurt you." She said reaching out a hand to the quivering girl. "I only hurt those who intend to do evil. Now, where were those men taking you?" The girl shivered and stuttered.

"They was takin' Rin to the brothel miss. They taked Rin from her mother when she be only five years old miss. Rin be eight now miss." Kagome pulled the girl called Rin close to her and gave her a loving squeeze.

"Come with me Rin. You can become a pirate and live on the sea with me, my son and my best friend Sango." She held Rin a bit away so that she could look into the girl's eyes. "Does that sound good?" The girl named Rin nodded and took Kagome's hand. Together, they walked back to the ship.

"Sire, there is a, unidentified ship approaching on the far side, what do you propose to do?"

"Let the ship approach Myoga, but don't let it pass."

"Yes, Lord Inuyasha." Lord Inuyasha had been at sea for three months patrolling his brother's lands and territories and today, today something interesting finally happened. Within minutes, the strange ship was anchored beside his own. He was astonished, to say the least, when he realized that the crew of this ship was comprised of four women, two children, one boy child and one girl child, and one wolf. Masking his surprise, he calmly spoke.

"May I speak to the captain of your ship?" One woman with waist length hair pulled into a braid stepped forward. She had brown eyes that sparkled with defiance. She wore an open captain's mantel over a tightly bound chest. She wore black sailor's pants and brown knee-high boots. She had a sword strapped to one hip and a gun strapped next to it. She extended her hand.

"My name is Kagome. I am a pirate and this is my crew." She indicated the three other women and the two children. "Sango, my first mate," a taller woman than the captain stepped forward. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail. Her blouse was open but her chest was also bound in fabric. She too wore breeches and boots and she too had a sword and rifle. The two other women stepped forward. One of them had light brown hair pulled into a low ponytail. Standing next to her was a female wolf; the fur of the wolf matched the hair of the woman it stood next to.

"My name is Ayame the Wolf and this is my familiar, Hotaru. I am the second mate." The fourth woman approached. She had long black hair that fell loosely about her shoulders but was ultimately pulled into a loose ponytail at the base of her neck.

"My name is Kaguya. I am the weapons master." Inuyasha stared at these women. They were all strong in appearance and the looks on their faces certainly were intimidating. Inuyasha noticed that the children weren't typical either. The boy was giving him a nasty look.

"I'm Shippou, my mother's the captain of this ship and if you try anything funny, she'll kill you." Inuyasha realized that the boy, age eleven at least, had a dagger strapped to the bicep of each arm. The girl child stepped forward and touched her companion's arm.

"Brother," she said. Her voice was soft but it was firm, not like the voices of the young girls in the palace. "Mother can fend for herself; so can we." She pulled out an intricately painted fan and began fanning herself with it. Inuyasha wasn't fooled. That fan had a sharp metal lining across the tip and he bet that it was extremely heavy. How could a mere girl child hold something that a woman should? How could a woman "man" a pirate ship? How could the only male on board be her son? How was he not the captain of this vessel? He walked across the plank onto the ship of the female pirates and extended his hand.

"My name is Inuyasha no Taisho. I am the prince of the western lands, my older brother is the king. Please, enjoy your stay." He motioned for his advisor. "Myoga, please help these ladies find a port to dock-" Inuyasha never finished his sentence seeing as a fist made contact with the side of his face. He was knocked off his feet and he fell on his side. He stood up and everyone was glaring at him. Ayame stepped forward and cracked her knuckles.

"I'm sorry," she chuckled darkly. "It sounded as though you were offering us help to find a port to dock at." Inuyasha nodded, a confused look graced his features.

"What is wrong with that?" Inuyasha felt a knife pressed to his neck and body behind his own.

"Did you fail to hear that we are pirates?" Kaguya pressed the knife closer to Inuyasha's throat. He shook his head.

"No, I take it back, you seem perfectly capable of navigating the seas by yourself." Kaguya removed the knife from Inuyasha's throat and slid back to her crewmates. With a swift signal to Kagome the anchor was raised and the women pirates were on their way.

He screamed. How could his imbecile of a younger half brother let that woman pass? He calmed his features but he was still furious; she had more women in her crew? How had that happened? When would his retainer get back with more useful news? He kicked the wall. Women were infuriating!

Back at the Kingdom of the North, both kings and the prince were out of their minds with worry. A princess had gone missing and no one could find her! It had already been two months shy of a full year and search parties had been sent out over sea and land. No one had found her. The Prince of the South was in despair. Where was his true love? Where could she be? Did she not know that their fathers had arranged for them to be married? He shook his head when the door to the throne room burst open. A page came in holding a letter.

"Sire," the page panted. "This letter has come for you!" The King of the North, sitting next to Prince Kouga, Sprung forward and grasped the letter. He read it aloud:

_Dearest Father and Mother,_

_ How are you? I am fine and safe. I am having a wonderful time so please do not worry too much for me. I am a pirate now. Sea life agrees with me pleasantly and I have a small crew of very trusted and strong companions. _

_Mother, I am a mother myself now. I am very proud of my children for they are quick to learn and are a pleasure to be with. Shippou, my son, is a wonderful child. He has a quick temper but he is also quick to calm he is also just as stubborn as I, perhaps more so since he is male. Rin, my daughter, is everything a mother could hope for in a little girl. They are three months apart but that doesn't mean anything. I love you and father with all my heart,_

_Kagome_

Kouga grabbed the letter and read it through again. Kagome was a mother? How could that have happened? He looked to the queen: she had tears in her eyes.

"My daughter," she sobbed. "A pirate. A pirate with two children: Oh! My poor daughter." A rage like no other flooded Kouga's senses. He would kill the man that had defiled his beloved! A feral snarl escaped his lips. He would find Kagome and marry her on the spot.

The wind caught in the sails as they continued sailing. Kagome steered their trusted ship to port as her crewmates sparred with one another. When the anchor was lowered, Kagome hooked her sword to her side and called to her crew.

"Ayame, Kaguya, we have reached land, could you man ship while Sango, the children and I gather supplies?" The two women hooked their swords to their sides and Kaguya twirled her daggers in her hands. That was answer enough for Kagome.

In the market, people turned to stare at the passing females and children. Even though they were typically not suspicious creatures, Kagome was a pirate and as such, she dressed like one. People usually gave pirates a wide berth.

Shippou and Kagome went to stock up on gunpowder and bullets. Sango and Rin went to get food and fabric for clothes.

Kagome saw a flash of white cloth fly passed her. She whispered to Shippou to continue what they were doing; she was going to find out what was up. She took off at a fast walk in the direction that the white had gone in. Kagome found herself weaving in and out of barrels upon crates of that days catch. This creature that she was chasing was not making things any easier for her. Finally, they came upon a dead end. The figure stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to face Kagome. The woman was a runaway bride. In her arms she held a small chest with an intricate lock on it. The bride glared at Kagome and held the chest closer to her bosom.

"If that man sent you after me than you can go screw yourself!" Kagome laughed and took off her captain's hat. She bowed to the young lady.

"I am sent by no one." She said still laughing. She placed her hat back on her head. "I sent myself." Her laughter subsided. "What's a pretty bride like you doing here?" The woman in front of her clutched the chest closer still and took a defensive stance.

"Why should I tell you anything?" Kagome shrugged. This girl seemed perfectly capable of handling herself. Kagome turned around and headed back toward the market. "Wait!" Kagome turned her head. "My name is Tsubaki. I am an enchantress of serpents. I can summon up an army of them and use them in battle. However, my parents killed my familiar and used this chance to marry me off to a man that I hate. My mother hid the egg that my familiar laid and locked it in this chest." Kagome chuckled and held out her hand.

"Would Tsubaki the Snake Charmer like to join the crew of Kagome the Pirate?" Tsubaki fell gracefully to her knees.

"I would be honored."

Kaguya, Ayame, and Sango spent the next five months teaching Tsubaki how to wield katana, shoot a rifle, and throw daggers effectively. Shippou and Rin taught her how to sneak around without getting caught. Tsubaki was a quick learner and picked everything up within weeks of being taught.

Word soon spread of Captain Kagome and her _unusual _crew. When an unwanting pair of ears heard the news the whole western lands could hear his frustration. His roar echoed where echoes shouldn't exist.

Lord Sesshomaru had his mind tampered with by this woman. He wanted her locked up in the dungeon, the kitchens even! He just wanted her off of the ocean. He was furious that she remained headstrong through all of this. He was also furious because the name Kagome rang an incredible bell in his mind. Where had he heard that name before? Where? He kicked his bedpost as he remembered. The Princess of the North! Ooh, her family would have a cow! No, the whole barn might explode. Sesshomaru also knew that Princess Kagome was engaged to the Prince of the South, Lord Kouga. He wondered if he could use this to his advantage. He dispatched a notice to the King of the North knowing that Kouga would be there as well.

Glasses were raised high as the final process for Tsubaki's initiation into the crew came to an end. Ayame was playing the fiddle and Sango was playing the fife: adding some music to the merryment. Indeed, Shippou and Rin both took turns dancing with their mother and everyone else on the ship. Kaguya performed a deffensive sequence with her swords that looked more like a tribal dance. Kaguya told everyone that the women of her tribe performed this sequence when they were about to sacrifice one of their animals to the gods; the men performed the attack sequence.

Tsubaki smiled as she got up to perform her own dance. Her movements were as fluid as those of the snakes that she enchanted and just as powerful. As she moved, she began to glow with power. At the end of her dance, everyone erupted in applause.

The moon was high in the sky and as full and bright as the harvest moon in autumn, but it was summer.

The next morning brought familiar waters in view to Kagome. She was back in the north. Tsubaki was at the wheel so that Kagome could sleep. Kagome removed her tunic and wrapped her breasts in her chest bindings and threw her captain's mantel on. On deck, Kagome called an audience. Everyone assembled around the helm and looked at their captain with reverence.

"As Sango can probably see, we have reached the northern lands. I am technically the princess of these lands as Sango is lady of the Northern Forest. Now, we have been at sea for roughly two and a half years and I only sent my parents one letter." Everyone listened as Kagome told them her story so that they would understand.

"They might missunderstand so I want everyone to come with me while I greet my parents." The women all nodded and the two children gave their mother a salute. They all attached their necessary weapons to their being (without being too conspicuous).

The queen sat in uncertainty. The guard who had just come in claimed that he had spotted a pirate ship pulling up to shore. Was it her daughter or was it an actual pirate? The guard came back in.

"Kagome the Pirate and her crew are here to have an audience with the King and Queen." He announced. The queen held her breath as her daughter entered the throne room. The queen completely ignored the others who were with her and ran to Kagome with open arms.

"My daughter!" she sobbed. "My poor daughter!" she held Kagome by the shoulders at arms length and studied her. The look on her face turned to horror. "Kagome!" she scolded. "Where is your corset? A young woman such as yourself should not be showing so much skin! And those trousers! A lady shouldn't be bandying about in mens wear! What would the people say? And dear," she continued. "Those boots are not for women of our stature to be wearing. If Lord Kouga saw you dressed like this he would be ashamed!" Kagome had managed to drown out her mother's speech but at the mention of Lord Kouga her hearing kicked in.

"Lord Kouga?" she asked. Her mother nodded.

"The man your father arranged for you to marry." Kagome found Sango's eyes and the both of them laughed. Kagome hadn't once thought about Kouga since her initial flight. She must have moved on without realizing it. "He's here, at the castle." The queen's words broke through Kagome's thoughts. Noting the expression on her daughter's face, the queen continued. "He is eating lunch with your father. They will be overjoyed to see you again." Kagome nodded and motioned for her crew to follow. Ayame scowled.

"I can not believe that she ignored us like that! That was very rude, even for a queen!" Kagome sighed and shook her head.

"My mother will only see what she wants to see." Sango nodded in agreement. They reached the dining hall. Kouga and her father were indeed sitting around the table but they weren't eating lunch. They were talking to a young man with long silver hair and golden eyes. In this respekt, the man looked similar to the Prince, Inuyasha, of the Western Lands. Kagome cleared her throat and the men looked up. Kouga lept up and spun Kagome around in his arms. When he placed her back on her feet he looked her up and down.

"My dear," he exclaimed. "What has happened to you? Where is your dress? Oh, are you hur – OW!" Ayame's familiar, Hotaru, had latched on to Kouga's leg; a thin line of blood trickled down to his ankle. Ayame stepped forward, she had just about had it with whiny royals.

"Our captain is fine you moron. Hotaru, heel." The wolf released Lord Kouga's leg.

Lord Sesshomaru focused on the group looking for the one that might have been the captain. It must have been the one that Lord Kouga had embraced. The woman now had her hand on the shoulder of another woman.

"It is alright Ayame," she said calmly and serenly. "I was engaged to this man, he was just worried about me is all." Ayame scoffed and Lord Kouga nodded, then he stopped.

"Darling, what do you mean you 'were' engaged to me? We are still engaged, your father has not called off the engagement." Kagome exchanged triumphant glances with her crew and children.

"No," she said. "Father did not call off the engagement, I did. I have not thought about you once, Kouga, I have a new life now; my home is the sea and I have a wonderful crew and two fabulous children." Kagome's father lept up and faced his daughter.

"Kagome, what is the meaning of this? Stop with this charade!" The minute those words left his mouth, the king found a knife pressed to his throat. Kaguya had had enough of being ignored.

"Sire King," she said in a deadly whisper. "This is not a charade. We are pirates, we live for the sea and none of us would be here were it not for Kagome." She released the king so that she could look him in the eye. "Your daughter saved me from being burnt alive by an ungrateful husband and his family. She saved Tsubaki from an abusive man who was forcing her to marry him. She saved Ayame and her familiar Hotaru from bandits. She saved her daughter Rin from being raped and dragged back to a brothel. So, your Royal Highness," she spat. "I think you're the one living a charade."

Sesshomaru took this opportunity to applaud the lady pirates. He realized, upon seeing the competence of these women, that he had been mistaken about their captain. He was glad that he had been mistaken because what he valued more than anything was loyalty, and commitment.

"Sire," he said to the king. "Might I make a suggestion?" Kagome raised her head to him.

"And who might you be?" she asked. Sesshomaru chuckled bemusedly.

"I appologize my Lady Pirate, I am Lord Sesshomaru of the Western lands. I am aware that you met my brother, the Prince Inuyasha." Kagome nodded curtly. "My suggestion is, Captain Kagome, have Lord Kouga join your crew for a year. Since he is determined to marry you, he should adapt himself to your way of life." He turned to Kouga. "Surely my friend, you do not object?" Kouga shook his head vigorously.

"Not at all." He kneeled in front of the King. "My Lord, please allow me to journey with your daughter for a year. I promise, no harm shall come to her." A roar of laughter erupted from Kagome and her entire crew. No harm would come to Kagome? HA! That was rich. Most likely, it would be the women and children protecting Kouga from harm.


End file.
